Okay, it has been about a week since I updated this and I think it is time.
Last Wednesday was the visitation. It went as well as it could. I kept busy catching up with my cousins and taking care of my children. There weren't a lot of non-family there and most of the people that came were elderly people that I didn't recognize. One surprise that night was that my stepmom came. I was pleasantly surprised by that. My Dad didn't come but it was nice of Carol to stop by and the girls were excited to see her.
The funeral was a little different for me. It was just familty and about a half dozen friends. I didn't bring the girls with, just Norvin and Levi and me. I started out in good spirits, joking with my cousins about my grandfather looking like he belongs in a western. Then the uelogy began and a light hearted sermon aimed at non believers. I had a hard time with the fact that most if not all of my family are non-church going people. As I sat there I felt like Norvin and I were the only ones in the room that truely knew what the minister was saying. I was sad. I did shed some tears at the funeral. I will miss my grandpa. But, I definetly have a sense of peace as the heavy burden of my childhood has been lifted from me.
And, Thursday morning as I left the graveside, I touched my grandpa's coffin and forgave him for everything.
I am at peace and someday, just maybe, I will see him in heaven as the perfect grandfather that God had intended him to be here on Earth.